Umang Sabarwal invited you to the event “SLUT WALK DELHI”
Genuine curiosity made me click on the event page to find out what my college senior was inviting me for. It read like a women-fighting-for-their-rights event. I’m not a feminist. I have issues with women fighting for their rights. I’ve never believed that I need to fight for what is mine. I just need to know it, assert it.
That was it for me. I did not hit on any of the three buttons- Attending, Not attending, Not sure.
A few weeks later there were sparks of debates revolving around this on my home page. People I knew but Umang didn’t, had reached the page. It obviously meant that the event was getting noticed. People were taking interest.
One of the concerns which I found valid, was that the name was essentially urban centric. It did not take into account the rural aspiration. (This point validated in my head only till the linguistic barriers, and not perception based immature lines of control.)
I read a few posts and comments and I was genuinely surprised by the creativity that was going waste. Billu Balatkari had issued rape warnings against anyone who dared attend this event. Of course he had plenty of supporters. (Do I really need to advocate the event anymore? Oh yes, for the high intellectual capabilities of some people, I guess I need to. They have a tendency to ignore anything which is simple enough for everyone’s understanding since theirs is the mind that has been cultured for complicated sentences. Exclusivity is essential, especially when you want to fight about how this event is exclusive in nature and hence, stupid.)
I shared the event page, manually selected a lot of people’s names to send them invites, apart from clicking on ‘Attending’. If you know me at all, you’d know how much of a hard work this is.
If any other sensible person has the same question as many others and which remotely looks like ‘Why the name?’, this is one of the points. It made me come back to it. It made me want to attend it. And yes, I’m important, just like many others who had a similar experience. Sadly I took it for granted, that women are equals of men. The mindset of people exercising their freedom of speech on the event page, made me realise that I needed to exercise my freedom of speech too. Balance, is important after all. I gathered my thoughts and I opined. To put it in a nutshell my opinion is broadly in support of this walk. To me, it isn’t about delivering a message to the rapists, it is about delivering a message to the society. To those who think India isn’t ready, are very well forgetting that I’m an Indian. To those who say that talk to the society in the language that they understand, I have a simple question to ask. I did not understand ‘oh you are carrying a laptop. But the charger is with me.’ either. Initially, that is. If you must know, I was wearing salwaar kameez. I had a laptop bag with me, and I genuinely confused his words for ‘reality’. Until I heard his friends laugh and my heart pound with fear. To those who think that this trivialises serious gender issues, well congratulations. You’ve maintained the dignity of the problem. Get a character certificate for victim-blaming and frame it on the walls of your fakery. I’m proud of your achievements. To those who think it is about redefining immorality, I ask who defines morality? If you think that existence of a girl is shameful, go die. If you think it is immoral that a girl is walking on the streets, go die. If you think it is immoral that a girl is wearing bikini, rape her. She must be punished with your imposition upon her. You’re right. Nothing is worse than that. Moral policing is your birth right. But of course, you are not the rapist. You’re just somebody who thinks that she is wrong. You’re just someone who thinks that even if she is raped, she inflicted that upon herself. But may I tell you that this is what this walk is aiming at. Towards uprooting the support a rape receives, in the form of unsigned consent. That of the girl, and the society.
The list of people I’ve addressed here is huge. But there are many points that I haven’t been able to account for. I realised that when I switched on the TV. Shobha De’s one of the issues(as aired on NDTV), apart from many, was that even men could start up their own ‘Stud’ walk. But, I’ve never heard any boy finding it disgraceful, to be called a stud. My friends would blush, if you called them a ‘stud’. Just like this one, another of her very immature concerns was that it takes away the grandeur of womanhood and ironically, she found this walk very immature. I smiled, when she was speaking. I do that when I have no answer for someone’s stupidity.
Madhu Kishwar, in another debate show put up by Barkha Dutt on NDTV, concluded beautifully. She got reminded of Meerabai’s bhajan “Mere toh Girdhar Gopal, doosra na koi” where in Meerabai was humming the tune of indifference towards the societal structure. She was immersed in Krishn bhakti and didn’t care for the honour of womanhood. What Madhu was getting at with this in mind was, that this song is sung even centuries later by people, including a Subbulakshmi, invoking symbolism.
My only concern here is, did anyone ask Meerabai what difference will it make if she writes this song? Did people make obnoxious remarks about her sexuality as she sung for Krishna? Did she face a hard time deciphering innuendos aimed at her? If not, then maybe the methodology of battling with the changed ways of aiming women needs to undergo a change too.
Lastly, my biggest disappointment was Seema Goswami’s views on this. She is one woman I look up to for her bold attitude. But her lack of insight into this issue, was plain sad.
All this while, I haven’t been fighting for my rights. I’ve just been asserting. My logic is not feminist. My approach just responds to patriarchy.
The thoughts never ended. I’m still opining.
