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It has become a pattern now. I click on ‘new post’; start rambling and then stop. It doesn’t make sense to me. I leave.
I return with another thought. I click on ‘new post’; start rambling and then stop. It doesn’t make sense to me. I leave.
They all remain to be drafts. Drafts with immense potential and a great thought behind them. There are thoughts bursting in my head but I’m unable to reproduce them in my words. Probably they don’t fit in my logic anymore, the logic which has experienced a renaissance. But this is not like me. This is not me.
You know of that inner voice? The one that speaks when you write? It has its own characteristics of pitch, volume and stress which transcend into words-bold, italic and underlined. It’s magical how it shapes each and every letter with the clay of thoughts. Almost as if the world is stopping for you to take a notice of it, just to deserve a mention in your words. But what when the world stops stopping? It is almost unachievable to put it into perspective. And I’ve been experiencing that.
My inner voice was calm, composed, and content. Now it's impatient and competing to be the first. Though however logical, I don't like it. We all detest change after all.
What happened? I question myself. And the answer is… the urge to be heard. The pain of losing a thought. That of not being understood perhaps? But how would that affect the way I write? May be not. But it does affect my inner voice.
All I really need is a break from these petty sentences, I concluded. A long sentence shall end my misery. Talking to long sentences might help. I get influenced easily to change my originality. Long sentences. With fewer full stops. A sentence that contains my entire thought. Without which, I can’t write.
Not long ago, I told a friend how the knowledge of the term ‘writer’s block’ has hit her hard. (Writer’s block—Noun: An inability to write) She believed she had been suffering from that for about a year. But I suspended all her claims on the basis of the understanding that once a writer, always a writer.
Am I too suffering from that? Not if this isn’t a draft.
A thought. A sentence. A long sentence.
A long sentence, as contrary to what many people believe, is not a sign of ambiguity or lesser lucidity but about precision and ability to render a thought unafraid in the flow of its purpose, its capacity, its talent.
The joys of clicking on 'Publish Post'. :)
